18 October 2011

My Prayer Language

My thirst for Jesus has increased so much lately. I want to be filled by God's presence. I have so much to be thankful for. I enjoy my morning prayer time with just me and Him. It helps me to focus on the One and Only who can help me in every circumstance, may it be a personal struggle, a fight with health, disobeying children, or financial troubles. Jesus gives love, Jesus gives hope, faithfully.

I am going to a weekly prayer meeting with a couple of women from our church. It's a great time to spend in the house of God, worshiping Him, praising Him, sharing testimonies and asking for prayers.
Last week, I had felt kind of 'bla' - you know not sad and not happy, more like living next to my body. And there was so much going on to be thankful for at this particular time. So I had asked God to show me why I felt this way, or just take it away. Well, the very next morning, something happened at prayer group: I was asked to do something that I had never done, and pray about it out loud. And it worked, immediately. I felt better, joyful and happy, thankful and blessed. And it hasn't stopped since....

Now YOU that know me, know, that I am not very comfortable to pray out loud. And here is way!

It's my insecurity in my prayer language. As a new Christian, I don't have the vocabulary of a  person that has been brought up as a Christian. If you are one of them, I bet that you have never thought about your prayer language being a language of it's own that needs to be learned. So just trust me: it is. (Also learning it as a second language-er is not making it easier!)

So naturally my prayer language is more that of a two-year-old. And it bothers me. The language that hardcore prayers use is quite intimidating. And according to an article that I read and that encouraged me, it is "formulaic". To hear that from a person that is in ministry was shocking but it spoke to the heart....
He referred this to the prayer of his own two-year-old son at dinner time, where what the son said just blew him away, because the son only used simple words, thanked God for his family and asked for healing of a family member. Simple. Honest. From the heart.

So this author also states that adults can get "caught up in the “prayer game” of trying to balance praise and thanksgiving against requests and intercession" - and I know that I have a hard time with that. There were times, when I went through cancer, where there was just no thanksgiving or praising God! I was angry and had to deal with my emotions, my body hurting, and my faith fainting.... Being now a four-year survivor, I can only shout praises and thanksgiving to my Lord, my Savior, my Sustainer. From the rooftops! But at the time, I was happy making it through the day without major breakdowns.

God pulled me through!

When I read that this man was blessed by his son's prayer because it used simple words and it came from the heart, I felt better about my own prayer language. If my cry for help comes from the heart, I think that God will forgive me that I didn't start with 1) praying for my family, 2) praying for my leaders, and so on.... and then only last to pray for myself.
If I tell Him point blank in simple words what is on my heart, I truly believe that He will hear me and answer my prayers. He is our Father, our Daddy, and I believe He rather has a real personal conversation with me, the true me, with the language of a two-year-old-ME, than when I try to come up with big words that are not me at all. It's all about the personal relationship with Him.

This was very liberating. Liberating to know that my words are enough for Him. He hears me. He cares for me. And he doesn't care that my words are not coming from the dictionary but from my heart. Because I do love Him with my heart and with my soul and with all my might.

So I can go to my prayer meeting tomorrow morning, thank my Lord for everything that I have, for Him, for my family, for my church family, and for my friends. I can pray for our church, the sick and my family. I can ask Him for what my heart is longing for.  I don't have to be ashamed of that.



C. Beth said...

AMEN!!! Love this!!!