25 March 2010

What does friendship mean to you?

Today, I want to be philosophical. What do friendships mean to you?

God says there is a season for everything. There are even seasonal friends. So we have lifetime friends, and friends that are only there for a period of time, a year, a couple of months or maybe we get lucky and it is a couple of years. Nonetheless, the departure of a friend hurts. Sometimes we don't realize that they are gone until it is done and finished. Sometimes, we fight and it is over in a heartbeat.
Nonetheless, it hurts.

Then there are friendships where we ask ourselves why we are friends with that certain somebody - thinking that we have almost nothing in common. I mean with friends that are almost our identical twins, we don't even ask ourselves this question. I think, one doesn't have to be the other person's soul mate in order to teach us something. We can learn from each other no matter what. Doesn't it all come down to respect each other rather than tear us apart because we are different? I married my best friend, so that is covered. Now I can relax with all my other friendships. And instead of looking for all the things we don't have in common, I look for the things that I can learn from that other person because we are different!

A Hasidic quote says: "One who looks for a friend without faults will have none."
Well, I don't want to be the one with NO friends!

A Jewish Saying goes as follows: "Who finds a faithful friend, finds a treasure." Oh, how true that is. I have gone through many, sometimes I think too many, friendships and every time I thought that it will last for a lifetime. But unfortunately, it did not. And sometimes I really wondered why it did not last!?! Was it my fault? Or the other person's? Or was it just meant to be that way? Ralph Waldo Emerson said that "The only way to have a friend is to be one.". So what does that mean? When I was younger, I really suffered when a relationship went bad. With time (and aging?) I learned to deal with it better. Then I learned about God's way at looking at things, and it makes it so much easier. It makes it easier to let go because maybe that person would have really hurt us one day, and in just loosing track of each other avoids us from really getting hurt. And it is easier because there will be new people and new friends to get to know....

Whatever happens, we changed because of someone that shared a piece of our walk in life. An anonymous saying goes like this: "Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same." So my heart is filled with small footprints and big dinosaur ones! I have come to understand that a friend is a gift even for a short time.

And Euripides said in 408 B.C. that "Friends show their love in times of trouble". So the last couple of weeks have been pretty touch for me. But yesterday, I found out that there are people still thinking of me, praying for me and just offering help. Three people came to me and made my day by encouraging me that this is just a phase and it will pass. By telling me that they love me. By offering help. And by offering an ear to vent. So thank you. I feel loved. And I am not that desperate any more.


C. Beth said...

I like this post. I love your way of looking at friendships--the "best friend" is covered with our husbands, and we can just learn from our other friends without too much pressure. That's a really good perspective. Thanks for being my friend. :)