24 September 2012

Something to celebrate

I started this blog in order to spread the good news of 
And next week, I get to celebrate that hope big time. (and no, it's not my birthday!)

What is hope? I am talking about that feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.
I expected God to fight my fight for me because I knew I was too weak to fight it myself. I expected Him to be there for me. I expected Him to guide me by His hand to a better tomorrow. And that totally happened. I have been blessed with life, love, hope, and faith. I have been blessed with family, friends, and children that I thought I could not have. (If you need to catch up on How we got here!, please go back and read it.)

So what am I so excited about that it drives tears into my eyes every time I think about it? 

It's been five years since those dreadful words changed my life: "It's the big C!"
It took a long time to accept that fact and it's consequences. It took me five years to heal from it. So today, I can proudly say that I am five years cancer-free, and that is something to celebrate!

I want to celebrate that Life and that Hope, that Love I received and those children I got, the special people that supported me on my journey and my relationship with my heavenly Father that got so strong through this experience.  I am praising God for all of it. He not only never left my side in those dark times but blessed me so abundantly in giving me the strength to go through this and come out on the other end as a renewed person. Hey, maybe one day, I will even become an optimist....
The walk to Beat the Clock in NYC 2010
Five years can be short but I feel that ALOT of things happened in those five years. The first year was full of anger and frustration, healing physically and emotionally, until that Hope would sink in and make life look a little bit better every day. It was a tough year of little social interactions, withdrawal, and loneliness. Once that anger turned into hope, I felt I can do things again. Life seemed manageable again.
My biggest supporter and me
And then we got blessed with New Hope through a family member that would carry our own baby (if you need to know how it works medically, here is a link) for us. That year was not always easy but oh so worth it. At the end, we recived a beautiful baby girl into our family.
During all this time, I had to have quarterly check-ups, which are always so nerve-wrecking. Even though I knew I was in good hands, that waiting with the uncertainty of hearing good or bad news was tough, and is to this day.
I did celebrate the half-time between that day one and now here. I love my team over there and was always worried that at five years, they would send me back to an regular OB-Gyn. Well, they don't and I really appreciate that. I mean, eventually, they might, and then I 'might' be ready for that, but for now, I am not. I am also part of a support group that I have attended now for those five years. I love the ladies there and I am so happy that I can share some of my hope with them. It has been a big part of my healing, too.
Of course, I have walked a few cancer walks, for my own cancer or others. It's an awful, creepy disease and I wish this on Nobody! So supporting researches makes me feel good, and I can show my support to my friends that are affected by it. 
Another Blessing
Fast forward four years, I find myself blessed again with another carrier to carry our third child. Wow. God has been so good to us! During that time, Beth and I did the Relay for Life for the second time and it was so meaningful for me - it goes with this post as well. At the end, I can only give glory to God for where I am today! (I wrote a post back in May that says it all.)

So five years have gone by, I was able to heal in so many ways. My family grew from three to five with the help of two very special ladies. And I have learned to be a fighter. Life is worth fighting for! It's worth living it every minute, and it's so beneficial to enjoy what we have, even if it is not always our plan, but God's. I am happy where I am today. So that is what I am celebrating my life changed forever due to God's plan.

I am not sure how my day will look like, but I want it to be special. 
I might not do school that day, or do a special session on 'counting our blessings'.
I want to celebrate with a birthday cake, and a candle on it... (it will be nice to see a one digit-number on MY cake once again - haha) 
I want champagne.... (this one might not happen though....)
And I want my family and friends around me!
And I want to thank God all day - whenever I think about it - for how blessed I am!

Thank you for being here and reading, thank you for praying and thank you for encouraging me when I felt I couldn't handle this anymore. Please stay and keep reading - I am certain that God is not done with me yet.


C. Beth said...

Wooooooo hooooooo! This is such a big milestone. I am proud of you and yes, I think you may be turning into an optimist! :) I love you!

April said...

God is Amazing! This is such a beautiful blessing!

April said...

This is such a blessing! God is AMAZING!