11 February 2011

Baby Steps

I have a confession to make.

I have a comfort zone. Surprise!!! Yeah, and my comfort zone is called my home. I don't like invaders, I don't like it being disorganized. God, it is hard enough to have children that run all over the place and spill things, break things, and put things in disorder.

I always preferred going to other people's houses than having someone over in mine. So my comfort zone would never ever have someone in my house. How realistic is that? Not really. I mean I don't want to become a hermit and die alone. That wouldn't be healthy, and I don't want it. I want to break out of the box and overcome whatever fears I have. Face them and run them down. Live my life to the fullest.And isn't there a saying that "Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half...", or something like that? Well, I rather share my fear with my friends and family, than being on my own.

That said, how do I survive play dates? Good question because I have a hard time with that. I would prefer to never have to have them at my house. Because adding to the disaster of my own two children breaking things, now other kids come and break things, spill food or drinks, and do things that I would 'kill' my kids for! Right? Well, I have learned that setting boundaries with my friends helps to keep the chaos at bay. Also, leaving just a few toys out rather than every single one, helps to keep the mess controllable.

I can do family dinners. I can - if I don't have to cook!?! Just kidding, it intimidates me actually. But I have stepped out for that, and survived. Yes, it is a big deal to me.

But bigger parties still scare the living Jesus out of me! They do. An uncontrollable amount of people in my house, running around with food in their hands.... aaaaah! So scary.

I have to step out of my comfort zone! I think it’s important to test my boundaries from time to time. Because without exploring, there will be no growth or life experience. Right? Trying something different may feel awkward, but it could turn into an enjoyable experience.

Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:9 (NASB))

I have to push the limits of my comfort zone BECAUSE I love my friends and want to surround myself with their company. Cancer taught me something! I don't want to die alone! Nope. Not at all.
So I have had my own baby shower at my house. Wow, was I scared. I did not have to throw it, my lovely friend did all the work for me. But we had the girls in the house, and kids! With food and drinks. And guess what? Barely anything was spilled, the carpet stayed completely clean. I was impressed. And now feel so much more confident.

Then I was invited to a few parties were I had to bring my own food. You mean I have to cook for someone else? Oh, that is a challenge for me. Not only because most people don't eat what I eat, and then I am not confident enough to know if they like what I make and how I make it. BUT I got alot of positive feedback. Someone actually asked me for one of the recipes. I was blown away! Being human, I am thriving on that positiveness, and got more courageous. Now I am much less scared to share my dishes with others. And if they don't like one, it won't be the end of the world (anymore).

Now I am about to throw a baby shower for a friend. And I am scared! But it is a step into the RIGHT direction. To get over this fear I have. I want to reach out and bless my friend! One baby step at a time.

And if anything goes wrong, I have God who will help me through the crisis. I have friends who will help me to clean up the mess. I will be blessed to have all the fun and joy around me. I won't be alone. And I think that I will be blessed.


C. Beth said...

It's interesting, because I can be a hermit too but that means I'd usually prefer to have playdates at my house...since it means I don't have to go anywhere! :) We all have our little preferences, rational or not. You're doing great!!