01 October 2010

Raising Godly Tomatoes

Edit 1: I started writing this post a LONG time ago, so it is written in sections. Please forgive.

I don't remember where I found it first, so I am sorry if I can't give that person the credit they deserve. I put the link in my bookmarks, hoping to get back to it later, but of course, that never happened. Then later, when checking out more and new blogs, I stumbled upon this link again. Still, I didn't bookmark it right away before clicking somewhere else. I am sure you know how it is, one thing leads to another and you spend an hour in the blogging scene. Finally, I read another blog that had just dedicated her parenting to this concept called 'Raising Godly Tomatoes'. I was intrigued at once..... and started reading, again. And this time, the entire blog. I bookmarked it - so here it is: http://www.raisinggodlytomatoes.com/

And I totally loved it!!! It sounded so right. Some of the stuff, I am doing already. Like never letting bad behavior go by, but addressing it right away, and 'punishing' it right away. In moderation! So I have to work on some of that. But I like the idea of simply using obeying as a parenting style. After all, that is the one thing God asks us to do. And that is also the one thing that most adults have a problem with.

Edit 2: I wrote this a while ago, never got back to finishing the blog post.... now here I am, probably six months later, and re-read some of the things this lady mentioned on her blog - which by the way, is a book as well. I am not a hundred percent sure on it anymore! My friend keeps saying: every mom (or dad), and family, has her own parenting style. We all have to figure things out, sometimes on the fly, as it occurs. I don't agree with the physical punishment by this lady. Don't get me wrong, I am not against a "slap" here and there, but not constantly. I am more for the "pouring love over your children"! Giving them choices, where making good ones will be praised and making bad ones will be followed by consequences. AND simply being a good example. After all, the kids are mostly just copying us and our behavior as parents. My friend, again, used me as an example just recently: I must have told her that I read in front of my children. Yes, I am ignoring them!? No, no!!! But I believe they need to play on their own, in order to deal with boredom, and in order to communicate with each other without an adult intervening all the time. So I read. A couple of lines only sometime; sometimes I get to read a whole page. But I want to show them HOW much I love reading and maybe they will copy me one day and pick up on the reading habit. I find it so important, and unfortunately, in this society, it seems to fade away.....

So check it out for yourself, think about it, and apply whatever YOU feel comfortable with!

Also I would love to hear what you think about this approach.


C. Beth said...

You know that I don't feel comfortable with a parenting style in which the discipline centers around physical correction/spanking, for our family. And while I think some parents can lovingly have that type of parenting style, it bothers me when I hear people say it's the only Godly way to parent. Because I think God is more gracious than that. Just as he disciplines us in various ways because we're all unique, I hope He's also okay with us having different parenting styles for our unique families and children. I think it's most important to be consistent and loving, and sometimes consistency is hard!!

C. Beth said...

P.S. Let me also add, I haven't looked at their blog except a brief glance, so I don't know if the entire discipline style is around spanking--just going on what your blog post said and how I interpreted it.

SurvivorBlessing said...

Well, once upon a time, I was all for spanking. But I have changed my mind. Not that I totally exclude it, but I am trying to make a huge effort in not spanking as a first choice of punishment. So my list goes like this: first goes any screen time, from TV to computer to even the Leapster; then goes snacks like sweet treats; then goes other favorite toys; the list goes on. I am trying to teach to make good choices and if not then there are consequences.
Like you, I don't believe that God has only one way to show us the right path - we all have a choice and a free will!