20 July 2012

I just have to share my joy

When I think about how blessed I am, it strikes a bone inside of me that is so filled with thankfulness, to the point that it feels like I am bursting with happiness.

My life has not always been easy, and as a more negative person, I can easily fall into the pattern of "why me?" all the time. But lately, I have to say, that it has been big 'payback' time for me. God has been so good to me and my family. It really is mind-blowing.

I feel like God has provided a real home for us. I don't mean just a roof over our heads. I mean a home where we feel right. A place where we have friends and feel loved. It's a feeling of building a life together at the right location. Somewhere where God lead us six years ago, and we never regretted coming here.
Our family has been enjoying coming here to visit us. We are missed in church when we don't go one weekend.  And I have made a real friend for a lifetime that has become more like a sister to me through this last pregnancy. I am amazed by the love we receive from so many sources, and the support we had especially the last nine months. God has redeemed so many things. He has heard our prayers and made things happen, He has delivered surprises, and He has blessed us with peace over anything that concerned us.

I just have to look into Coqui's face to be reminded that he is my first miracle. Then I look at his sister who sits next to me on the couch sucking at her big toe (yes, I know, pretty gross!!!). But she is  my second miracle, when all my hope had vanished. Then I look down on my youngest who just smiled in her sleep, and I just want to kiss her all over. She is my latest miracle and I am so thankful for each and every one of them.

Sometimes, I have gotten mad at the way our children had to come into this family - especially when I think about the financial part of it (grrrh!). But now that it is over, I am thankful that God provided constantly and faithfully. I appreciate that my husband has a study job and that we have family that is willing to help out any way they can. We are very fortunate. And I know it.

I am equally amazed by the support we have gotten from the people around us. I know that we were and are covered by prayer each and every day! That is pretty awesome, especially when I don't get to do my daily quiet time anymore. Everything that Beth and I got to do special during the pregnancy was possible because our friends had stepped up and watched our kids, so we could go to a doctor's appointment by ourselves, or simply go out to eat ice cream. Thank you. We had two very special ladies throwing us a baby shower and we were so blessed by it. Friends have checked on Beth and on me, to make sure that we are doing fine. And we are. We both had friends providing meals for us, and that is wonderful. I never had the honor to be granted with meals ever before, and now that I did, wow - it feels really good to have people care about me so much. Thank you, all of you, who came out here and provided food and other goodies. We feel very blessed.

Yes, there have been bumps in the road, hard days and moments of desperation or anger, grieve or sadness. But I always come back to this: my happiness is still there, no matter the circumstances. I don't want to change places with anybody. I am truly happy. So when I am cooped up in the house for a few weeks and my social life is very downsized, I am more than willing to give that sacrifice. She needs protection and I am providing it for her. I am thankful for the friends that have come by, so I could spend some adult time, too. Beth has been so supportive, helping me through my emotional days, offered an open ear over the phone, and has stopped by with coffee or snacks. We cried together and then laughed and just enjoyed what this new season has brought us. And we are looking forward to what else is coming our way.

I just wanted to share my happiness and my thanks with you. I feel very blessed.

And now I go change a stinky diaper! Because I am blessed with a girl that only has one a day!


C. Beth said...

This made me cry, thank you!

Zoodle likes to use his teeth to cut his toenails!! Maybe he and Peanut are made for each other! At least we know their mothers would get along if they got married! :)