An update on the pregnancy and more nesting.....

It has been a while since I updated you on our pregnancy. To say the least - it has  been going great! We are just simply enjoying this second trimester to the fullest, embracing this shared pregnancy every step of the way. The belly is growing bigger and bigger. And Munchkin is being a little gymnast inside of Beth's belly. We are almost in week 27 - so the end is nearing..... With that, I am really getting into nesting mode....

There are a few more things we will need to get, but mostly, I (!) need to get the room organized for the little bugger to move in, and re-child-proof the house. Yet, there are still so many things to DO before the arrival of the newest family member: classes to take, last vacations to take, and getting a bit more ready mentally. It seems that thirteen weeks is a long time, but in reality, it is going to fly by quickly. I am anxious to hold that baby in my arms, have it sleep on me, and yes, change tons of diapers. Until then, I am thrilled to bond with the baby the way I can - in a very special and beautiful way that Beth and I found to work for us. We are so blessed.

Coqui and Peanut with their sibling, in week 23

So, I am planning on cloth diapering this baby as well. I do have a few store-bought diapers, mostly in size medium, and I have all my homemade diapers as well, which are medium and large (see my very first one here and a tutorial here). So when I saw a nice sale the other day, I had to get two new diapers that are adjustable, so we can use it very early on, and until the baby gets bigger. It's in my favorite color, too: green. I also got my very first pair of leg warmers - I always wanted them but they seemed more expensive when we had Peanut, so I never got to buy nor use them. It was a bargain and I got a design that will suit a boy or a girl.....

I have not had many snaps diapers, so I am curious how they will work. My daughter eventually figured out how to open the Velcro-diapers, and stopped wearing cloth diapers all together. Her comment: "Too big, Mami." Big bummer.....
I found this brand online, I think over one of the natural baby blogs - I can not remember, sorry. But here is a link to her website: My Cloth Baby.  She has the cutest diapers. For sure, I will be visiting her online store soon again.... Her service was excellent with five stars.

(Disclaimer: I don't know her personally, nor do I get anything for advertising her here.)

Even Peanut tried them on, and they fit perfectly.

So - I am nesting..... 
and I feel blessed and overjoyed and content with how things are right now. Our God is an awesome God - He works things out for the good. I am thankful for Him and His mercy and grace, for His faithfulness and His love. And I can not wait for what else He has planned for ALL our lives.....

Ann and Beth, with the bump, in week 19

More soccer adventures

Lately, it seems like I have been on that soccer field every day. Coqui's practice is twice a week, and then a game every weekend. It's alot. Or at least it feels this way because we never did any of those activities, and all of a sudden, we went from nothing to three times a week. Thankfully, Coqui really loves it, so I don't have to 'drag' him on that field.

Practice time.

So here are a lot of pictures that I am shooting, while Coqui is playing. Peanut is usually glued to my lap... I am not sure why.

First, our St. Patrick's game.

Coqui couldn't wear green, because his uniform is red. And for the life of it, I was unable to convince Peanut NOT to wear pink, not even for that one day only.... She insisted on her pink shirt. So I changed the color of the entire picture.... hahaha

At the end of each game, the players of the opposite teams have to shake hands, or rather give each other high five. It's totally cute, and some kids really 'slap' your hands! Beware.

The week after that, we had a referee that was almost the same age:

It was picture day, so the girls are 'extra' pretty.

Peanut had fun goofing around on the sidelines. She is slowly making friends with the other player's younger siblings - which it seems they are all the same age. But I think because they are only two, they are not that interested to play with each other; they are more curious about what their own siblings do.

So while this is a nice season, I am looking forward to have my weekends back!

How can I make it come out?

So I have been pretty quiet about our 'failure' with potty-training. Yes, I know, it's not a failure, just not an accomplishment, yet. It's also just totally frustrating.

So after my post back in December (click here to reread it), I just gave up. Or let's say, I just stopped pushing the issue. We kept encouraging her when the potty talk came up, but I stopped trying to persuade her, every chance I got. It's was not worth it and I just didn't want to pressure her too much. I felt I might delay her wanting to try even further.

Surprisingly, last week though, she wanted to wear undies. She has wanted to do this before, and every time she tried them on, she would use them as a diaper - meaning, she would just wet it or do worse..... So I told her that if she wanted to use her cool Dora and princess underwear, she needed to use the potty! She agreed to do so. And guess what? She did. For the entire week. She went potty at home, in the store and at our friend's houses. Number One that is!

I was very happy about this. For number Two, she would ask her a diaper, and for now, I let her. That is until this weekend. She stopped going to the bathroom again, and requested a diaper all day long. Seriously? This back and forth is new to me and soooooo frustrating!

I am not sure why, but I think, she had kept most her number twos inside of her and now the urge was just too great to bare. She has been trying to go to the bathroom for the past three days! She is traumatized - I am just not sure why or how it happened because I never 'forced' her to do it on the potty, I only tried to encourage her (greatly). Maybe that was wrong.

Nonetheless, I am impressed, and scared, by how good she is at just keeping the poops inside of her. She squeezes her butt cheeks together so hard that, seriously, not much comes out. When something does come out, it is soft - something that tells me that it's not too hard to come out! It's a struggle of will power and body power - and so far, it looks like that her will is winning. It doesn't matter if it is potty or diaper, she is just not wanting to go! How can I make her go?

I don't know what to do anymore. I can't reach in inside of her and pull it out (Please, do NOT try to picture this one!). I have been giving her laxative in her drink once a day, almost every day, and it still doesn't do the trick.... or at least it does, in keeping the poop soft enough to not hurt her when it does come out.

Does anybody out there have any advise? Any suggestions? How can I make it come out?

This has been such a struggle. It's painful to watch her when she squeals in agony, trying to keep it in. It's painful to know that the more she tries to not go, that at some point, she will have to go..... It's painful because this shouldn't be an issue. Coqui was so easy and so wonderfully compliant - every trick worked on him. Peanut just doesn't want to! We can't bribe her, because she just doesn't care enough about anything that you could bribe her with. Talking her into it doesn't work either. Games don't work. Reasoning doesn't work on her. I am out of ideas. And seriously, I am also sick of having to find ways to make her go, instead of just simply teaching her to do it! Argh.

Running out of detergent

For weeks, I kept forgetting to buy new detergent, laundry detergent that is. I don't buy it at a regular store, so it's a special trip. When I finally remembered to stop by to buy it, I had to find out that, apparently, they are back-ordered - whatever that means. What a bummer! What to do now?

Then I remembered my fabulous friend who orders things online all the time - so I thought to myself: "Why not." I took a deep breath and dove into the cyber world to order my very first badge of detergent online.

I figured Amazon was a pretty safe bet, so I went straight there, and I was greeted by a price that was close to priceless - seriously, it was half the price from the store, and almost half from the original price on Amazon. So not only did I see a bargain but it was calling my name. Now I just had to find out the costs of shipping, which I figured might 'kill' the deal, or maybe that's why it was on sale? But again, I was surprised that the $22,50 shipping costs were waived, so there were NO shipping costs for me. Woo hoo. I just had to order it!

And it just arrived, safe and sound, after about a week. Now I have six mega bottles of my favorite detergent. I can do laundry today!Which will take me all the rest of the day and tomorrow....

And in case you are wondering why I am so psyched about it, you can read, or reread, here, why I like my detergent so much that I do NOT want to replace it, and why I rather have the laundry pile up....

Stranger danger or how my 2 year old attracks odd looks on ME

So last week, we did a field trip to the zoo. We did it before, almost a year ago, with the same friends, you can be reminded about it here. It was the first beautiful day after a very long and rainy weekend. And after a weekend of sickness. My little girl was all feverish on Saturday and still a little bit on Sunday, but miraculously, on Monday, she seemed cured. So of to the zoo we went.

Peanut holding the food for the petting zoo

Quack, quack, I am a duck!

Same order as last year, just side-flipped - too funny!

And in case you were wondering, I went to the zoo with ALL my children - yes, Munchkin came, too. Thank you, Beth, for this wonderful trip, AND the ice cream afterwards!

The kids had so much fun. Watching four kids running around from animal to animal was such a delight. They loved the lions and tigers, the monkeys, and of course, the petting zoo. Even Peanut was 'trying' to feed the animals - may I remind you, that last year, she was so scared, she wouldn't come out of the stroller for three entire hours! So this was BIG progress! Until.....

....at some point, Peanut changed her mind in liking the zoo. She stopped short, started to cry extremely loud, stomped her foot and demanded that I carried her. Well, if you are a mom, like me, you know that you can't let this go - at least not under those conditions. So I stopped where I was and told her to come over, so I could put her in her stroller. That didn't go over so well, so she screamed louder - attracting attention from other visitors. A long time ago, I told myself, that those eyes from strangers, that have no idea what is going on, will NOT scare me nor intimidate me! I have to do what I have to do as a mom - teaching my children the correct behavior - in public or at home.

So I kept encouraging her to come over, as did my friend, and Peanut's friends - to no avail. Eventually, people came by and saw that crying little girl - they probably thought she was lost - and I had to calm them down and tell them that she is just stubborn and needs to learn that she is not the queen of this family! They gave me dirty looks, but oh well.... After a while, her friends could convince her to come along, and she came running to us, Beth and me. So we could keep walking. A few feet further, she started screaming again. And I got even more worried looks from strangers, until one lady addressed me and said: "Her shoes are on the wrong way, I think she is hurting." Really? How about she is just a two year old, trying to figure ME out!?! Or rather how can she get what she wants from me? So I told that 'kind' lady that my daughter likes to dress herself, including her shoes, and that she puts those shoes on opposite ON PURPOSE! I was reassured by Beth that her son used to do the same thing.

Now, what gets me mad is those well-meant comments. Why would you say something when you have no idea what is going on? If I would spank her and went beyond spanking, meaning beating, her in public, I would understand if I got dirty looks and concerns. But this is a crying child - did I mentioned that she is stubborn? - and she is in no danger at all. Just being herself, screaming and trying to get her way! Back off!

Sorry for getting so defensive, but I believe that raising my children is my responsibility. I have close friends that will give me advice if (and when) I do things wrong, or they think I should reconsider my tactics. But then, they do it out of love for me and my children, and usually, they have the full picture of why we acted this way. A stranger has no such right.

[Now, I am sure when there was an emergency, then I would be more than glad if a stranger would save her life. But I hope if that would ever happen, I'll be right there for her, myself.]

What do you do when you get 'those looks'?

Metamorphosis

Things are changing. Slowly, but nonetheless, it keeps pressing forward. It's like a train that started out slowly and now runs at full speed. If I wanted to stop it, it would take some major effort to do so....

So I am on that train! I am running with it straightforwardly. No stopping now. 

Change is about to happen. 

And you know what, I am excited about that. It's good stuff, and God is right in the middle of it all. At times, it feels like a storm and I have to grab onto different straws to hold on. Other times, I feel like I am pounded on, like the potter hitting the clay. It hurts, physically and emotionally and spiritually. It's very intense. But one thing keeps me going: hope.

Hope for God turning things around for Good. Hope for many blessings that glorify God's mercy and grace. Hope for, yes, a better tomorrow and a changed ME.
Free of guilt, free of pain, free of fear, free of anger. God promises other things, and that is what gives me the strength to go through this trial now. God's hope, peace, and faith will help me to grow mentally, socially, and spiritually.

God is carrying me through this, He is the one that said that it's enough, finally! He has planned something better for my life and I should want it. Well, I do! And now I am working on getting it....

Though God is never leaving my side, I couldn't have come this far (and I am by far where I want to be!), without the many women around me, that support me, carry me at times, encourage me unceasingly, share their wisdom with me, show me kindness and mercy and grace, pray with me and over me and for me, believe in me and in what God is doing in me. I feel blessed by these women and I want to shout out a big Merci, Danke, and Gracias. I am very grateful that I have these individuals in my life. And it doesn't matter that I see some of them every week, and others only once a year. They still impact my life.

We ladies need friends - we simply can't make it without other women and their support!

My friends have been those straws that I talked about. I just grab onto one of them and ask them to hold me, to not let me fall! It's great to know that I can do that. It gives me the freedom to remain in a spot whilst a storm lasts, instead of falling back behind. I don't have to go back - these women sustain me, and encourage me, and when the storm is over, they can release me and I actually will be fine.

I know that a huge hole has been filled for me, when Beth stepped into my life as my best friend. She is the greatest blessing of all because she is the one that has been carrying me for the past few months the most.

BUT there are others! Others that can actually 'feel' my pain, that can 'understand' what I am thinking, and that can relate to it in giving me hope. Others help me see the light at the end of the tunnel. Again others encourage me to soak into God like never before - to grieve with a purpose. Then there are the ones that supply me with prophetic words and / or pictures that are just so exhilarating and inspiring! And then there are the silent ones, that just freely give me a hug when they see that I would really need one. I am blessed with friends that have so many giftings - I am in awe at the creations that God has sent to walk alongside me, may it be for a season or for a lifetime.

ALL these beautiful ladies are such a blessing in my life and I don't know what I would do without all of them! I thank God for them, and I pray that they equally feel the blessings of so much love and kindness. They are helping me through this time of transition and growth. It's intense. It's unraveling. And it's refreshing. Thank you, ladies, you truly make this endeavor a joyful ride.

What I want you to know is that your efforts are a good investment in me. I know that this undertaking is requiring some discipline and exercise on my behalf and I am willing to obey and to march forward into the direction that God is pointing. For His glory, for our victory. He has a plan for me and for YOU. Thank you. And may God bless YOU more abundantly.

Photo-on-Saturday

It was an Angry Bird birthday party. And the kids had a blast. Coqui wore his angry bird shirt. As well as the birthday boy and his little sister. I had never seen a pink angry bird shirt.... now I got to go look for one.