16 March 2012


Things are changing. Slowly, but nonetheless, it keeps pressing forward. It's like a train that started out slowly and now runs at full speed. If I wanted to stop it, it would take some major effort to do so....

So I am on that train! I am running with it straightforwardly. No stopping now. 
Change is about to happen. 

And you know what, I am excited about that. It's good stuff, and God is right in the middle of it all. At times, it feels like a storm and I have to grab onto different straws to hold on. Other times, I feel like I am pounded on, like the potter hitting the clay. It hurts, physically and emotionally and spiritually. It's very intense. But one thing keeps me going: hope.

Hope for God turning things around for Good. Hope for many blessings that glorify God's mercy and grace. Hope for, yes, a better tomorrow and a changed ME.
Free of guilt, free of pain, free of fear, free of anger. God promises other things, and that is what gives me the strength to go through this trial now. God's hope, peace, and faith will help me to grow mentally, socially, and spiritually.

God is carrying me through this, He is the one that said that it's enough, finally! He has planned something better for my life and I should want it. Well, I do! And now I am working on getting it....

Though God is never leaving my side, I couldn't have come this far (and I am by far where I want to be!), without the many women around me, that support me, carry me at times, encourage me unceasingly, share their wisdom with me, show me kindness and mercy and grace, pray with me and over me and for me, believe in me and in what God is doing in me. I feel blessed by these women and I want to shout out a big Merci, Danke, and Gracias. I am very grateful that I have these individuals in my life. And it doesn't matter that I see some of them every week, and others only once a year. They still impact my life.

We ladies need friends - we simply can't make it without other women and their support!
My friends have been those straws that I talked about. I just grab onto one of them and ask them to hold me, to not let me fall! It's great to know that I can do that. It gives me the freedom to remain in a spot whilst a storm lasts, instead of falling back behind. I don't have to go back - these women sustain me, and encourage me, and when the storm is over, they can release me and I actually will be fine.

I know that a huge hole has been filled for me, when Beth stepped into my life as my best friend. She is the greatest blessing of all because she is the one that has been carrying me for the past few months the most.
BUT there are others! Others that can actually 'feel' my pain, that can 'understand' what I am thinking, and that can relate to it in giving me hope. Others help me see the light at the end of the tunnel. Again others encourage me to soak into God like never before - to grieve with a purpose. Then there are the ones that supply me with prophetic words and / or pictures that are just so exhilarating and inspiring! And then there are the silent ones, that just freely give me a hug when they see that I would really need one. I am blessed with friends that have so many giftings - I am in awe at the creations that God has sent to walk alongside me, may it be for a season or for a lifetime.

ALL these beautiful ladies are such a blessing in my life and I don't know what I would do without all of them! I thank God for them, and I pray that they equally feel the blessings of so much love and kindness. They are helping me through this time of transition and growth. It's intense. It's unraveling. And it's refreshing. Thank you, ladies, you truly make this endeavor a joyful ride.

What I want you to know is that your efforts are a good investment in me. I know that this undertaking is requiring some discipline and exercise on my behalf and I am willing to obey and to march forward into the direction that God is pointing. For His glory, for our victory. He has a plan for me and for YOU. Thank you. And may God bless YOU more abundantly.


C. Beth said...

You are welcome!! It's a pleasure to be a good friend to someone who enriches MY life so much. :)