12 May 2011

A new Challenge

Did you know that parenting is learning on the job site?
It constantly changes and challenges us on a new level, milestone after milestone with our children being the teachers. Ever thought of it that way?

Well, before we had kids, we talked about how we would raise those children. I, specifically, didn't want to make the same mistakes my parents did. We decided that spanking was okay, not on a regular basis, only when necessary. So Coqui and even Peanut had their share of it.... when it was appropriate. Where I want to point out here that we are not just widely hitting them, put it is more like a gentle slap on the hand when touching something was wrong. So you don't have to call Child Service - my kids do NOT know what real hitting and punching is!

But now I feel like I have become more like my parents and less the mother I really want to be. It frustrates me and I feel like it confuses the kids. So I decided that I want to change a few things here at home.

When I found the following practice of discipline on a different blog (here is the link to a blog that I am not reading but I wanted to give her credit for it anyway), I loved it and wanted to try it:
  • Hitting or pushing = time out, facing the wall
  • Taking toys away = loss of the privilege of playing with that toy
  • Teasing or aggravating = separation from each other (-interesting that this works!)
  • Using unkind words = say something kind/loving

I will do some changes to the first point as I simply don't like 'facing the wall'.  Time-outs still work great, to my surprise. But somewhere in there should also be 'loss of privilege for the TV'. My kids have very limited access to it now, and taking that privilege away is already part of our discipline already.

So my prayer for today is that God will provide me with endurance to change, understanding from my children as we go through this change and patience, patience, patience. Amen. I thank my God for those lovely children and that I get to be the mother for them. I feel blessed.


C. Beth said...

I think that is a very good plan!

SurvivorBlessing said...

Thank you. I know how you feel about it, and you were kind of my inspiration....

Anonymous said...

Amen, my friend - spanking is great! It works great and it sets boundary which is not confusing! A 'not-good' gentle slap on a hand with no attention from mama afterwards! Even I 'd get it! And the actions you described the other blogger was talking about are timelessly awesome. You're a great mom.