13 August 2012

Adventure of parenting part 2

Yesterday, I wrote in general, how I parent my children. Today, I want to share specific examples. 

And it is the perfect day to do so as I had to discipline both, but my middle child specifically, multiple times. As frustrating as it is as a parent, I know it is just as frustrating to them to figure out the world. So on a day like today where we just stay home, I like to be a little more consistent than on days where we have to run around. It tires me out - I can just imagine what it does to them.

So my dear darling daughter Peanut is..... how do I say that nicely? ..... testing, vivacious, and defiant. It's exhausting for me, especially as I got so spoiled with my obedient boy. She reminds me of my brother.... seriously. She can be naughty which can be cute - sometimes. She can be headstrong which is less desirable and so frustrating because one can not reason with her on certain things. She can be rebellious even, which is very challenging for me. And she can be disruptive and destructive, which usually means trying to get her brother into trouble with lying or teasing him. 

So in the past three years, I have tried many things with her,..... many, and none really worked, or for a short time only. Time-outs have never worked. FINALLY, I did discover what works for her. She loves to be a girly girl through and through, from pink being her favorite color to having a very strong opinion to what girl clothes are and what not. And that is where the working part comes in: with her clothes. She doesn't care about toys or 'stuff' being taken away from her. But she sure cares about her dresses. 

So that is what I do - I take away dresses and girly shirts. She even lost her princess bedding because of her nightly screaming sessions! It works and she cares as she constantly asks for them back..... and I have given them back on really good days. 

So today, she lost four dresses during the morning, and three more during quiet time. She peed on the floor and I stuck her into 'boy' clothes this morning.
I told her that we don't pee on floors, as she is completely potty trained, so she knows the difference. This one was on purpose... so there is her consequence.
By the time I was able to finish this post, my pretty girl had lost six more dresses. I don't know what was wrong today, but this screaming business needs to stop! I am not putting up with it anymore. 'consistency, consistency..... I am stronger than her!'

Coqui? Well, he works totally different as a rather obedient child. I just have to threaten him with loosing something, and many times, that is enough. With him, electronics work best. He loves TV, my phone, the computer, his DS and even still his Leapster. So loosing one of these is quite 'tragic' for him. And when he does lose them, it is usually not for a long time. 

He is far from perfect though. There are many things that we have to work on. One of them is that he is a sore loser. He can not lose in a good way, at all - and honestly, for a six year old, it's quite embarrassing (at least for me as his mother). (Unfortunately, I know where it is coming from - I am a sore loser as well.) But we are working on it, and he has gotten better, with lots of love and positive reinforcement. One way is to let him play on his DS and because it is fairly new to him, he still looses alot, so it teaches him to try it over and over to win more and more games. He also understands that he needs to practice his soccer twice a week in order to play one game on the weekend. So he gets the message, he just has a hard time sometimes to put it into action. Those actions get him time-outs (yes, that still works for him!), and loosing the electronic for a certain time.

But like every human being, my kids are a work in progress. We all thrive to be better people, and to be more Godlike. Nobody is perfect. And it takes alot of patience. And love. And prayer.


C. Beth said...

I think it is great that you have pinpointed what works with both of them. It's too bad that changes so frequently as they grow. I suppose it keeps us on our toes, having to stay creative with discipline as they enter new phases!

Leslie said...

i love that it's dresses for Peanut. For LJ, it's books. She hates to lose her bedtime books, but loves to gain extra ones for rewards. it's working right now.

jolav.blog said...

Who came up w/ the Double Trouble shirt? :)

SurvivorBlessing said...

jolav - it is one of Coqui's old shirts, that's all. It happen to be the first shirt I grabbed when I wanted her dressed

jolav.blog said...

:) - what a coincidence!