Don't you hate that when you feel like a fool, again and again?
Well, I feel like this today after reading this in the book "Me and My Big Mouth" by Joyce Meyer. We are reading it for our book club, organized through our church. I am late in reading this - we were suppose to be done with the first three chapters, like.... last month. Oh well, things happen and it's not like I have nothing to do in my life right now..... but I also think, that I was suppose to read that verse this morning. After a day of doubting God, and everything around me, my entire life. The devil for sure got a hay day with me yesterday, and I feel like a fool today....
Right after this verse, the book states that "extremes are actually the devil's playground". Wow. Really? So dealing with bi-polar - I am an easy target!? That really is irritating and exhausting! Not only for me, but to the people around me as well, who have to 'deal with me'. I don't want that for my life. I want to be done with it. There are so many things right now that I just feel I want to be done with! Seriously. I want it to be over and never to come back. I am tired of those things haunting me, and it is destroying my relationships with God, and family and friends. I NEED HEALING. I need God to heal and take away this pain.
But there is hope. In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, the Love Verse. You all know it.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
I received that gift yesterday through two amazing friends, women of God and sisters that just loved me and encouraged me, that prayed for me and that met me where I was. They showed me that unconditional love. I am God's child and He loves me. He wants me to be here where I am right now, even when I don't want to be here and it IS so hard. But I know that I want to be a light for others, I want to show off my scars one day and say, only through God and my friends, I have come this far..... Glory to God for putting those special people in my path, for sending them to walk alongside me, for carrying me and for cheering me on! Thank you.
2 comments:
Love you, my friend. :)
This post remind all of us, that we are (only) human - with our little faults. We ALL routinely make fools of ourselves, and we all routinely doubt, question and break patterns. To me - that is a human, with a whole lot on her plate! You're not alone - We All Have Our Cross To Bear, after all. You're bearing it with grace.
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